I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
