She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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