I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
