Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
