It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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