That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
