We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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