We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
