last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
