yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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