Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
