So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
