Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
