The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
