Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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