I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
