So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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