He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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