I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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