Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
