Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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