these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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