i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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