that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
