oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
