"it" just moved
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
