They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
