I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
