matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
