Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
