I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
