I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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