I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
