Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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