I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
