True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
