guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
