Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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