i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
