I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
