Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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