WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
