did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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