the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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