we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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