You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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