im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
