I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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