WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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