no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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